A thought on gender diversity in leadership: The “Nice” Paradox
A thought on gender diversity in leadership: The “Nice” Paradox
Monday 19 March 2012
Thinking about Gender Diversity in the workplace I am always linking it to the diversity of skills recognized and valued by an organization as well as those needed to actually climb the ladder of the organization in question (well no, these are not necessary the same!).
This takes me invariably to one of many paradoxes I have been facing many times in my career: the “nice” paradox.
I know of myself that I am a leader. I am strong, I am well informed, I am not afraid of making difficult decisions, I work with large groups of people who seek and follow my advice and… I am nice. You know, the type of person who always smiles at you, genuinely, who always says hi and cares, really cares. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’ll defend my point of view, get into rough discussions and spare no effort getting my point across. But my experience has shown me that being nice gets me to be considered by some as being naïve, stupid, or even weak.
And there is the paradox: I believe that what makes a true leader is to know him/herself through and through and to be in balance with her/his values. Being capable of being who you are, all the time, makes you strong.
But I observe that many organizations, though claiming that human values and leadership by people development are key components of their success, are still promoting the people who are aggressive versus assertive, manipulative versus genuine, managing by terror versus managing by coaching.
Does that mean I should choose between being who I really am and climbing to the top? Would I make my way up the ladder of this corporate world if I would continue smiling?